is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
