i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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