Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
