I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
