So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
