Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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