she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dignity is for republicans.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
