It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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