Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
