Can i not drive my cunt home
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
