No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
