you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
