im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
