Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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