Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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