wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
