She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
