You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
