we have pet lesbian snakes
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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