Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
