fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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