I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
