they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
