I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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