please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
