Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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