can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
