Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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