I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
