you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
