what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
