plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
