i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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