Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
