I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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