Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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