I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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