You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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