Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
