You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
