Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
