so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
