haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
