What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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