We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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