is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
