so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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