Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
