He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
