What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I could make wine with my vomit
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
