Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
